Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Can't keep a relationship or friendship.. what is wrong with me?

  1. Member
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    Default Can't keep a relationship or friendship.. what is wrong with me?

    Hi there,
    I need honest advice as to why it is that I have so much trouble with relationships. Not just intimate relationships, but relationships with friends and family as well. For as long as I can remember I have always had trouble maintaining friendships with people.I have no problem actually making friends- I'm outgoing, bubbly, and I really do care about the well-being of other people. I know I have trust issues and it's hard for me to open up to people, but over time I do let down my wall and let people in. I feel like after a while though I get let down by people. I have never had an easy life but I try my best to push through the best that I can and not bring other people down when I am. However, I feel like when I need people the most they aren't there for me. My closest relationships have always been with my grandparents, and I recently lost my nana. This has been a very traumatic experience for me, and I feel like both my best friend and my boyfriend abandoned me in my time of need. I'm a really loyal person and will always stick up for my friends and family no matter what, but I feel like whenever I need someone to take my side, they don't. I know I'm far from a perfect person and I make mistakes and am bitchy/ will snap at people sometimes. But when I realize that I've done so I apologize sincerely and do my best to make up for it. My parents have never been understanding of me, my sister is too wrapped up in her own life to care about me and has never wanted anything to do with me, I had to leave my friends from university to come home because I was too broke to stay there and they eventually stopped speaking to me, my boyfriend is nice to me for one day and then starts getting mad at me for no reason that I can understand and leaves me for days, and I overall feel completely alone. I work full time to pay my way through school and all my other living expenses from morning til 6 and then go to school til 10 every day and don't have time to join committees or meet new people. I'm exhausted, stressed out, I'm already taking anxiety and anti- depressants prescribed by my doctor but I feel like I'm sinking so far into a slump. I hate being alone and I'm always alone. I've come to realize that I must be doing something wrong or there must just be something wrong with me that other people see that I don't. It doesn't make sense that everyone around me is able to maintain healthy relationships and I can't, but it's killing me. I don't enjoy life unless I'm with people, and people don't want to be around me. Please help!! (sorry for the long, pathetic message) Thank You. (Also, sorry I wrote this in the wrong spot... I'm really bad with the internet I don't know how to change it..)
    Last edited by macy2012; 1 Day Ago at 03:01. Reason: posted in the wrong spot...
  2. Senior Member Greytabby's Avatar
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    Default

    Hi there,
    I need honest advice as to why it is that I have so much trouble with relationships. Not just intimate relationships, but relationships with friends and family as well. For as long as I can remember I have always had trouble maintaining friendships with people.I have no problem actually making friends- I'm outgoing, bubbly, and I really do care about the well-being of other people. I know I have trust issues and it's hard for me to open up to people, but over time I do let down my wall and let people in. I feel like after a while though I get let down by people. I have never had an easy life but I try my best to push through the best that I can and not bring other people down when I am. However, I feel like when I need people the most they aren't there for me. My closest relationships have always been with my grandparents, and I recently lost my nana. This has been a very traumatic experience for me, and I feel like both my best friend and my boyfriend abandoned me in my time of need. I'm a really loyal person and will always stick up for my friends and family no matter what, but I feel like whenever I need someone to take my side, they don't. I know I'm far from a perfect person and I make mistakes and am bitchy/ will snap at people sometimes. But when I realize that I've done so I apologize sincerely and do my best to make up for it. My parents have never been understanding of me, my sister is too wrapped up in her own life to care about me and has never wanted anything to do with me, I had to leave my friends from university to come home because I was too broke to stay there and they eventually stopped speaking to me, my boyfriend is nice to me for one day and then starts getting mad at me for no reason that I can understand and leaves me for days, and I overall feel completely alone. I work full time to pay my way through school and all my other living expenses from morning til 6 and then go to school til 10 every day and don't have time to join committees or meet new people. I'm exhausted, stressed out, I'm already taking anxiety and anti- depressants prescribed by my doctor but I feel like I'm sinking so far into a slump. I hate being alone and I'm always alone. I've come to realize that I must be doing something wrong or there must just be something wrong with me that other people see that I don't. It doesn't make sense that everyone around me is able to maintain healthy relationships and I can't, but it's killing me. I don't enjoy life unless I'm with people, and people don't want to be around me. Please help!! (sorry for the long, pathetic message) Thank You. (Also, sorry I wrote this in the wrong spot... I'm really bad with the internet I don't know how to change it..)

    You are not doing anything wrong buddy.... The bottom line is most people are fair weather when it comes to people like us... I have always been strong and gave of myself to my "friends" and family... and yet every time I have needed them they have crapped on me or worse run away... I guess people just don't know how to deal with us and their own problems... So they will dump their problems on us because let's face it... Mentally ill people are usually very strong. (we have to be) but when we need them... they just don't have our resilience. Perhaps you need to look to others like you who have a better understanding of what you are going through... Coming here was a good start... Also... do you have a local support group? If you want... you can PM me... I am far from perfect... but I am a good listener... and I do sincerely care... Just know that you are not alone in feeling this way... Many people.... (myself included) have these same feelings and the same situations... I have lost about 7 friends in 3 years... So I can sympathize...

    KAT

    KAT

    Post Thanks / Like - 1 Thanks, 0 Likes, 0 Hug

  3. Default

    Hi macy,

    Welcome to the forum.
    I hope you find the support and understanding you need here.

    Look forward to chatting to you sometime.

    xfallenx

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  5. Senior Member Greytabby's Avatar
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    KAT

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